Yes, Separate Thanksgivings
Trying to map out a way for Kyle and I to be together this Thanksgiving has been an uphill battle. We have played out every possible scenario in our heads at least 4 times, and have tried our very best to make one of them work. There seem to be 2 major issues. The first being that Kyle’s chit still hasn’t been officially approved for him to take holiday leave. We refuse to book plane tickets for him to fly out here for Turkey Day if there’s even a slight possibility that his chit won’t be approved. The second issue is money. Is it worth $800 to see him for 3 days if we’ll be living with each other in one month’s time? YES. But is it smart and responsible? NO.
Our ideas for our Thanksgiving rendezvous included:
1Hope Kyle’s chit gets approved NOW and buy plane tickets round trip from San Antonio, Texas to wherever is cheapest in California. Kyle’s family agreed to help fly him here and we’d only end up paying around $400 if the plane ticket prices didn’t increase dramatically.
2Only purchase a one way ticket from San Antonio to California as soon as Kyle’s chit is approved, then, if it’s to much money to buy him a return flight, drive him back out to San Antonio. It’s a 24 hour drive so we would need a hotel and we’d need to pay for gas, but it would be cheaper than a flight.
3Well if it’s cheaper to drive than fly, why don’t I just drive out to Texas? We have a couple amazing groups of friends out there who both agreed to host us if I did drive out there. But it would still end up costing a lot of money since I would need to pay for hotel rooms a couple nights while we were there and hotels en route to there and back.
4Have Kyle fly into Arizona or somewhere closer to California so I can drive out to pick him up. Oh wait, then we’re paying for gas and hotels and spending more money than if he flew into California.
5Have Kyle rent a car and meet me half way. We could get a room that night, then finish the drive back to California in our car. Then I’d bring him back to the middle point, get another room and he’d drive back to Texas. Oh wait, now we’d be paying for gas for two cars, a rental car, hotel rooms, and we’d be driving all day on Thanksgiving so we would miss the entire holiday that Kyle’s coming out for.
6Have Kyle take the train! Oh wait, he’d get to California the day he’s supposed to be returning to Texas. Snap.
As you can see, it has been incredibly stressful. I’ve lost sleep over trying to make this work. So, Kyle and I decided today that we will not be spending Thanksgiving together. Can I tell you a secret? I feel happy about it. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. Do I wish I could spend the holiday with my husband? Of course. Does it bother me that I will have to wait to see him till he graduates in December? Yes. However, I feel peaceful about not entering into debt to see him, not having to stress about the travel plans and his chit approval.
At this point, it’s only 4 more weeks of separation. A drop in the bucket. Come December 21, my whole world will change. I will be living with him. LIVING. Falling asleep next to him, drinking coffee with him, holding his hand and kissing his face. I feel excited about all that, and that’s probably why I’m not super sad about not seeing him for Thanksgiving.
Advice for Other Anchorwives:
If you are living separately from your sailor and you want him to come visit you for a holiday or event, have him put in his “chit” at least one month in advance. It will take up to a couple of weeks for it to get approved. Once he’s filled it out, make sure he asks more than one person about the required signatures. Kyle didn’t have his “class sponsor” sign his chit because in his A-School they had not set up a sponsor at that point so he left it blank (at the advice of the sailor in charge of leave chits). Because of that, it is taking a lot longer to have it approved. Make sure that your sailor asks at least 3 higher-ups if his chit is correctly filled out because you need it approved ASAP to make your travel plans.